Give It a Good Cry: Why Expressing Emotions Through Tears is Good for You
One of the most common phrases I hear during therapy sessions with my clients is “I am sorry for crying.” And my response is “it’s ok to cry. It’s a natural way to express our emotions and the more we hold back, the harder it is to process and express emotions.” In today’s blog post, I would like to debunk several common myths about crying and discuss the benefits of crying as a stress release tool.
On a societal level, we are often taught that crying is a sign of weakness. Men in particular are often vilified or ridiculed if they express emotions through crying and women have been labeled as “hysterical” or “too emotional” if they become tearful. Thus, we learn from a young age that crying is bad and thus we shouldn’t cry in front of others. Many of my clients express shame when they become tearful in session or perceive it as a sign that they are too emotional. I am passionate about providing education on the benefits of expressing our emotions in an appropriate manner and moving through them vs suppressing them.
Debunking Myths About Crying
Myth #1: crying is a sign of weakness. This couldn't be further from the truth. Crying is a natural physiological response to a range of emotions—sadness, joy, frustration, or overwhelming relief, among others. It's a complex human behavior that serves both a biological and a psychological purpose. By releasing tears, we are not showing weakness but rather the strength to confront and deal with our emotions head-on.
Myth #2: crying is unproductive and doesn't solve anything. This myth undermines the real, tangible benefits crying has on our bodies and minds. Crying releases stress hormones and other toxins from the body, which is why we often feel physically and emotionally lighter after a good cry. Furthermore, crying can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps our body rest and digest the emotional intensity, potentially leading to a calmer state of mind.
Crying as a Tool for Emotional Release
Crying is not just a response to sadness or grief; it is a powerful tool for emotional release. It can provide a path through which pent-up emotions can be expressed, acknowledged, and processed. For many people, crying is a vital aspect of their stress-management toolkit. It can serve as a physical manifestation of letting go and can significantly aid in the healing process of emotional wounds.
Moreover, crying in the presence of a supportive friend, family member, or therapist can foster deeper connections and encourage an environment of mutual trust and understanding. It is an expression of vulnerability that, when met with empathy and support, can strengthen relationships and promote a shared experience of human emotions.
Societal Perceptions and the Stigma Surrounding Crying
Despite the therapeutic benefits of crying, societal perceptions often stigmatize this expression, especially among men. The notion that men must always be stoic and suppress their emotions is not only outdated but harmful. It prevents men from engaging fully with their emotional spectrum and can contribute to emotional repression and its associated issues, such as increased stress, anxiety, and depression.
For women, being tearful has historically been mischaracterized as instability or an overreaction, further perpetuating gender stereotypes that limit emotional expression. Challenging these stereotypes and encouraging a healthier, more inclusive understanding of emotions is crucial for societal well-being.
Empowering Through Education: The Importance of Emotion-Focused Coping
As a mental health therapist, I believe in empowering my clients through education about emotion-focused coping strategies. Understanding the benefits of crying and accepting it as a natural response to various emotional states can significantly alter how we perceive our emotional health and resilience. By embracing crying as a normal, healthy part of life, we can begin to dismantle the stigma associated with it and encourage a more emotionally expressive and supportive society.
Conclusion
Crying is not a sign of weakness or instability. It is a robust emotional release mechanism that has significant psychological and physiological benefits. By debunking myths about crying, we can begin to embrace it not only as a natural response to life's challenges but as a beneficial one. Encouraging conversations about emotional health and the benefits of expressing emotions, including through tears, can lead to more profound societal change, where emotional authenticity is valued as a strength, not a vulnerability.
Remember, it's ok to cry, and doing so might just be the best action you take today for your emotional well-being.
If you're a Massachusetts resident and need additional support at this time, feel free to schedule a 20-minute consultation. As a licensed therapist in Wellesley, I will be honored to embark on a journey towards a healthier, happier you.
Veselina Hristova Jones, LICSW, is a Boston-area therapist based in Wellesley, MA, who specializes in anxiety, depression, and relationship issues. She provides compassionate, evidence-based therapy to adults across Massachusetts through secure online sessions, as well as in-person therapy for clients in Wellesley, Newton, Weston, Needham, Natick, and Framingham.
